Let’s be honest. The average worker isn’t working every minute he’s on the job. He does take legitimate breaks, but he also stares off into space, shuffles papers around to appear productive, and has an occasional rubber band shootout with a rival department.

But in any case, a company usually pays a worker a fixed salary or hourly wage for the time his body is in the building–a fact which leads to the following awe-inspiring revelation: You can get paid to poop at work!

Well not to poop, but at least while you’re pooping.

This is nothing short of the American Dream.

I ran across this concept in an article which documented one worker’s valiant attempt to “poo against the machine”. By carefully regulating diet and harnessing the power of the human will she managed to make dropping a loaf between 9 and 5 a regular and a most welcome occurrence.

I was really surprised that a website, http://www.workpoop.com exists to aid employees in their endeavors. The site showcases a “poop counter” and “poop pay calculator”  which perform their diabolical calculus and demonstrate the undeniable profitability of moving the mail.

Workpoop has other goofy content including a glossary, t-shirts, and amazingly enough: WoW- The women of workpoop.

So what are you waiting for! Coax and cajole your bowels into working for you and take charge of your own destiny!  While safely ensconced in the stall, you can become your own CEO, lay out your roadmap to success, and poop all the way to the bank.

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