The Nation’s editors Richard Kim and Betsy Reed have rounded up an army of writers who have contributed essays on the mavericky ex-governor’s brush with greatness. The collection is called Going Rouge: Sarah Palin – An American Nightmare and will conveniently also launch on November 17th.  The book is already making waves with its obviously similar book cover. In both covers, the plucky moose-mama sports the color red and gazes toward a brighter tomorrow. But there are also a few key differences.

First, the use of the word “Rouge” which alludes to Palin’s sex-appeal and sideshow antics during the 2008 election. In what may be a reminder of the how close Palin came to power, the ex-governor is shown with hair tied back and wearing more formal attire, unlike going Rogue’s more innocuous, homey look .

There is also the font size of Palin’s name on Going Rouge which at first glance makes it seem as though she is the author and not the subject. Then of course, the dark clouds and the word “Nightmare” which are pretty self explanatory.

Now many books quietly or inadvertently  use similar cover photgraphs. Take, for instance, the following well known examples. (Thanks to the awesome totallylookslike.com

Going Rogue’s #1 status on Amazon.com has been attributed by some to mass advance buys by right-wing organizations who plan on distributing the volume to their loyal sheep.

But what will the cover’s effect be on launch day? Is it just a playful dig, or a disingenuous and even unethical marketing tactic?

Would the casual buyer unwittingly pickup the wrong copy?

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The year was 1992, and the one and only Dr. Dre had just unleashed his debut studio album, The Chronic, upon a trembling nation. It announced the arrival of a producer extraordinaire and established the G-Funk rap subgenre in one masterstroke. The Chronic is considered essential

listening for hip hop aficionados and was even named #137 on Rolling Stone’s list of of the 500 all time greatest albums!

Now, like most rap records, it contains a healthy dose of salty language, and you might be inclined to turn down the volume when grandma walks in….

So, why do rappers use so many swears anyway? Well basically for 3 reasons:

1. It is essential to preserve the rapper’s badass cred.

2. It is an attempt to accurately reproduce the language of the streets.

3. It gives the listener (usually a 13 year old white kid in the suburbs) the feeling that he too, is a badass.

So whether you’re creepin’ wit your bro’s ho, or duckin’ shots from the po po, one thing is fo sho: the situation is more clearly described when rappers use the word “fuck”.

Now, the f bomb is all things to all people. Why not save some time and cut out all those unnecessary nouns, verbs and adjectives that clutter up an average rap song? Wait? What’s that? Someone apparently beat me to it!

A mischievous sound wiz known only as “Happy Hippo” hacked up the entire Chronic album leaving only the swears intact. The result was uploaded to YouTube by DJ Moneymaster and it can be heard in all its profane glory below:

Incredibly, the edit is available as a wav file at the following download location:

http://www.mediafire.com/file/mk2zdw2k1nm/The%20Chronic

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The band survives this scrutiny with music that can be frightening in its sincerity.

But out of all of the ‘Head’s gloomy tunes, could one actually stand out as the gloomiest? Yes! and frontman Thom Yorke singles out Street Spirit (Fade Out) from the album The Bends for this honor.

Yorke is quoted as saying:

“Street Spirit is our purest song, but I didn’t write it. It wrote itself. We were just its messengers; its biological catalysts. Its core is a complete mystery to me, and, you know, I wouldn’t ever try to write something that hopeless. All of our saddest songs have somewhere in them at least a glimmer of resolve. Street Spirit has no resolve. It is the dark tunnel without the light at the end. It represents all tragic emotion that is so hurtful that the sound of that melody is its only definition. We all have a way of dealing with that song. It’s called detachment. Especially me; I detach my emotional radar from that song, or I couldn’t play it. I’d crack. I’d break down on stage. That’s why its lyrics are just a bunch of mini-stories or visual images as opposed to a cohesive explanation of its meaning. I used images set to the music that I thought would convey the emotional entirety of the lyric and music working together. That’s what’s meant by ‘all these things you’ll one day swallow whole’. I meant the emotional entirety, because I didn’t have it in me to articulate the emotion. I’d crack…

Our fans are braver than I to let that song penetrate them, or maybe they don’t realise what they’re listening to. They don’t realise that Street Spirit is about staring the fucking devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he’ll get the last laugh. And it’s real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I’d crack.

I can’t believe we have fans that can deal emotionally with that song. That’s why I’m convinced that they don’t know what it’s about. It’s why we play it towards the end of our sets. It drains me, and it shakes me, and hurts like hell every time I play it, looking out at thousands of people cheering and smiling, oblivious to the tragedy of its meaning, like when you’re going to have your dog put down and it’s wagging its tail on the way there. That’s what they all look like, and it breaks my heart. I wish that song hadn’t picked us as its catalysts, and so I don’t claim it. It asks too much. I didn’t write that song.”

Jeez…For once, I’m all out of jokes…

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Famous personalities, from d-list losers all the way up to the president himself take advantage of this medium to gab, jaw and shoot the shit about anything and everything…in 140 characters or less of course.

Inevitably, Twitter has also become a haven for narcissistic nobodies who tweet the joys of their last bowel movement or facebrag in quantities that their facebook status message just could not handle.

Could anything of value come from these one-liners, the chum of cyberspace?

Yes! And believe it or not, it’s poetry!

And Rimbaud wept.

The Longest Poem in the World is a site which assembles random tweets in couplets to form an endless rhyming monstrosity. It is constantly updated with fresh tweets and is one of the greatest contributions that tweetology has gifted the world. It is also a cool snapshot created by authors unknowingly collaborating on a momentary work…

http://www.longestpoemintheworld.com

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http://www.eternalmoonwalk.com

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The young gentlemen is somewhat portly, and somewhat aesthetically challenged. This effect is heightened as he is juxtaposed with Foxy, who as I may have mentioned, is a smokin’ hot mama. But it is the annoyed look of Fox and the hustling attitude of her handlers that made some call the actress a bitch and the pic a freeze-framed visual definition of cruelty.

Now I think Fox and her entourage were not to blame for this perception. It is pretty clear they are trying to get somewhere and obviously they can’t stop for random strangers who accost them with unknown motives…

But what if the positions were reversed? An incorrigible scalawag on Reddit got hold of the pic and using some photoshop trickery, swapped the subjects’ heads for a joke:

The pics are an awesome display of the perceived value disparities between human and human. Beauty, fame and status are wide gulfs indeed….

The original photo was found here:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3605/3633752862_d2a463fdca_o.jpg

The photoshopped version was submitted by “sluice” to Reddit.com and the original link is:
http://bayimg.com/image/eabfpaacc.jpg

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Yes, the stage is a very small place indeed, only several square yards, and many an artist, in the throes of either sincere musical expression or affected posturing, lives life dangerously close to the edge.

From former presidential candidate Bob Dole to countless runway models and Miss USAs, it seems pretty clear that no amount of fame can keep you immune from the inexorable strength of that tyranical god–gravity.

Which leads us to the cringe-worthy videos below. I really don’t know why, but it is just hilarious to see famous people falling over!

However hot the girl is or howevermuch street cred the hardened rapper has, they are humanized in these moments which, thanks to modern technology, will steadily increase in YouTube viewcounts ad infinitum. If it were anyone else falling over, we’d be immediately concerned with their well-being, but for some reason, a celebrity’s physical “lowering”  to “the level” of “the groundlings”  is also an instantaneous social leveling which reveals a definite amount of envy mixed in with our adoration…

#1: Joaquin Phoenix falls off the Stage

Acclaimed actor Joaquin Phoenix made headlines after a bizarre Letterman appearance where his monosyllabic replies, bushy beard and budding rap career made him the butt of hollywood jokes. Some suspected a drawn-out publicity stunt, but this video shows Phoenix at one of his debut rap performances:

#2 Beyonce Falls off the Stage

The popular songstress ate it hard at this Orlando concert:

#3 Lil Wayne Falls off the Stage

Lil Wayne’s success is a sad commentary on the musical tastes of modern youth…but luckily the gods were so offended by his sonic outrages they snuck a karmic banana peel onstage….Wayne reportedly has $150,000 worth of diamonds attached to his teeth (not making this up) which surely saved the young rapper’s choppers from being knocked out during this spill:

#4 Metallica’s Jason Newstead falls in concert

Erstwhile Metallica bassist Jason Newstead has had a tough time of it. Recently replaced by Robert Trujillo and never quite able to step out of the shadow of original bassist Cliff Burton, Newstead had to endure being the “outsider” throughout Metallica’s most mainstream days. Here, falls onstage and hilariously continues playing as a sort of “i meant to do that” reflex:

#5 Jennifer Lopez’s Close Call

A conveyor belt + an elevated stage + J Lo anyone? But what sounds like the perfect storm for this post is sadly thwarted by the singer’s nimble recovery. (Although her massive gluteal cushion would likely have provided enough padding to prevent any injury…)

#6 The Jonas Brothers’ Repeated Falls

The Jonas Brothers’ saccharine-pop-rock stylings are clearly a form of noise pollution, and yet their clean cut looks and simple songs have fueled the unspeakable fantasies of a legion of pre-pubescent whitebread admirers.

As for falling onstage–the tween heartthrobs have done it so many times that a fan actually put together a compilation clip:

#7 Akon Oversteps His Bounds

Modern R&B juggernaut Akon’s voice  is as smooth as buttah. Unfortunately, so was the floor at at this concert:

#8 The Game Steps Up…and is Humbled

The rapper known as the Game appeard on the scene destined for success. He was after all, the product of the 50 Cent-Eminem-Dre hit factory, but his rhymes tended toward boasting about rims, his shoe collection and various shots out to mentors…

When watching this video, you could say the comeuppance of hubris has triumphed over streetwise braggadocio, but because the Game plays off the fall with just the right mix of charm and swagger, I wouldn’t call this one a total fail…

#9 John Petrucci’s Slide Guitar

John Petrucci’s soulless technical shred guitar work in Dream Theater has made him a fixture of the prog-speed metal underground. But his neither his lightning fast hands nor his metronome could have prepared him for the wiles of his arch-nemesis: a slippery floor:

#10 Mya Wipes Out

Faded R&B crooner Mya’s best performances may be behind her, but her behind’s best performances are clearly yet to come!

#11 Method Man Misses the Mark

Wu-Tang stalwart Method Man loses his balance, flails, then decides why fight it? He falls, yes, but it’s all good–his homies in the audience have literally “got his back”.

#12 Bonus Fall: Yes, A Horse!

The nauseating level of pretension at a fashion show is unquestionably the perfect location for a fall. But models tripping is passe…we need animals dammit! And here we have horse proudly strutting down the catwalk until…well, watch for yourself:

The best thing about this clip is how calm and collected the horse is compared to the hysterical onlookers. No embarrassed apology or awkward recovery here, just one chill, laid back steed…

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The vocals of many a death/gore band are a nearly indecipherable string of shrieks, snorts and belches which have earned songs featuring them the derisive nickname of “cookie monster” metal.

Never one to be outdone, the cookie monster himself can be seen in his metal video below

(featuring Bert & Ernie on drums):

A couple of bands have capitalized on these inhuman sounds by handing the vocal duties off to an actual animal! Enter Hatebeak, which I’m guessing is likely the only group in existence that is fronted by a parrot. “Waldo”, a Congo African Gray parrot takes the mic in wing and lets loose a stream of brutal, face melting vocals to a background of speedy guitar and double bass drumming. Hatebeak is an exemplar of the nascent “Feathergore” genre and the group has released a few albums including “Beak of Putrefaction”, “Bird Seeds of Vengeance” and of course, “The Thing Which Should Not Beak”.

Unlike a moody rockstar who trashes his hotel room and is always demanding, Waldo asks only for a handful of birdseed and that the newspaper in his cage be changed at regular intervals before he’s once again back on stage, ready to “rawk”. Clearly, for this bird, it is all about the music.

But Hatebeak had better watch out, for the competition is a bitch…literally. The grind metal band Caninus is fronted, by yes, you guessed it, a pooch! Well actually two. The pitbull terriers, and their owners (New York Band Most Precious Blood) have teamed up to create chaos that sounds like the hounds of hell!

Whew! This band is a beast!

Caninus exists partly to to raise awareness about cruelty to animals and to promote vegan causes. Check out the band’s site for more details.

Caninus official site:
http://www.pitbullgrindcore.com/

Hatebeak’s myspace page and above images:
http://www.myspace.com/beak666

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I was at an “End the Fed” rally in LA recently, and I beheld a man burn a dollar bill as a statement of contempt for the the federal reserve system, which may be largely to blame for the country’s downturn.  The whole time, I was wondering two things: first, why wasn’t he burning a c note instead to show even more contempt, and second: how could I snatch away the bill and use it toward the above mentioned dimebag? Unfortunately, the dollar met its crispy end before I could save it from its Libertarian captors, but the incident got me thinking about the use of money as an artistic statement. Enter master tattoo artist Scott Campbell and his astonishing art, etched onto stacks of bills.

check out more amazing examples here.

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But in any case, a company usually pays a worker a fixed salary or hourly wage for the time his body is in the building–a fact which leads to the following awe-inspiring revelation: You can get paid to poop at work!

Well not to poop, but at least while you’re pooping.

This is nothing short of the American Dream.

I ran across this concept in an article which documented one worker’s valiant attempt to “poo against the machine”. By carefully regulating diet and harnessing the power of the human will she managed to make dropping a loaf between 9 and 5 a regular and a most welcome occurrence.

I was really surprised that a website, http://www.workpoop.com exists to aid employees in their endeavors. The site showcases a “poop counter” and “poop pay calculator”  which perform their diabolical calculus and demonstrate the undeniable profitability of moving the mail.

Workpoop has other goofy content including a glossary, t-shirts, and amazingly enough: WoW- The women of workpoop.

So what are you waiting for! Coax and cajole your bowels into working for you and take charge of your own destiny!  While safely ensconced in the stall, you can become your own CEO, lay out your roadmap to success, and poop all the way to the bank.

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